"It is the worst thing for an Israeli to be, a freier in his own eyes and in the
eyes of other Israelis."
--Tom Segev, Israeli journalist and historian
Thou shalt not be a freier
By Shahar Ilan
It doesn't just seem that the term freier (sucker), or more exactly - the abysmal fear of being a freier - is a completely Israeli matter. Several local researchers have investigated the Israeli institution of "the non-freier" in depth. One of them, Dr. Linda-Renee Bloch of Bar-Ilan University, explains that the term, which has Germanic roots, exists in other languages, including Russian, German, Polish and Romanian. But in some of them, its meaning is completely different. Even in other places where it describes someone whom others can easily fool, the concept of freier is not a cultural symbol like it is in Israel. Even the English word "sucker" doesn't play as central a role. During her research, Bloch collected more than 1,000 articles that mention being a freier. In the Haaretz newspaper alone, the word has appeared more than 1,000 times in the last decade.
It seems like being a freier applies to most everything. Rules especially. A freier follows the rules. And everyone knows that those who follow the rules are suckers. Those who get ahead in Israeli society know how to bend the rules to fit their own goals. I am not sure if that's why there are corrupt politicians here (there are corrupt politicians everywhere). But I know there is a whole lot of illegal parking!
I am now convinced that Israelis are not cheap. I don't think they haggle neccessarily to save money. I think they haggle (both sides, the seller and the consumer) because they do not want to be taken as a freier. Once when I was in the process of being short-changed at the shuk, the guy who was trying to cheat me smiled broadly and gave me back my correct change and an extra piece of bread. I think he was giving me his approval, "She may be an American, but she is no freier!"
Anyway, if you think about it, it's quite a big conundrum. Here you have a society where in almost every situation absolutely no one wants to be seen as a freier. Unstoppable force vs. immovable object. But compromises happen. People argue/negotiate. Things eventually get done. To me, though, it all seems like such a big waste of energy.
Here's some one's great blog post of being taken as a freier in a supermarket: http://bogieworks.blogs.com/treppenwitz/2007/10/waste-my-time-s.html
Another about not being a driving freier: http://zabaj.com/2007/08/15/udi-manyaks-guide-to-not-being-a-frier-tip-25-driving-etiquitte/
Finally, what torah.org has to say about kindness: http://www.torah.org/features/spirfocus/kindness.html#